BLOOMware

Conflict is a natural part of human interaction. A healthy approach to conflict leads to greater understanding of one another and more creative problem solving. An unhealthy approach to conflict leads to wounded egos and frustration. When we understand our individual styles of dealing with conflict we can begin to understand how we can approach it; we can also then identify whether it is within our ability to solve or is too volatile or complex for a resolution.

Dealing with conflict takes self-awareness, respect, careful listening, honesty, and structured dialog in order to be positively resolved.

Disrespect breeds an unhealthy approach conflict.

Respect is the foundation of understanding differences. If you do not respect the person you’re engaging, then you likely have little true desire to discover and negotiate your differences.

Disrespect typically comes from one of three sources:

• Some form of emotional, physical, or resource-affiliated abuse
• Denial of rights for a person to act or feel a certain way
• Misalignment of ethics and core values between two people

Be honest with yourself and identify whether any of these issues exist. If they do, you may need to accept that some level of conflict may always exist and that conflict management may be more realistic than conflict resolution. If maintaining a relationship requires conflict management then you need to understand some facts:

• Choosing to be in situations that include an obstacle to successfully handling the demands and responsibilities of a relationship undermines your ability to construct and maintain a positive self image.
• One of the most consistent and strongest findings in research about conflict is the significant relationship between conflict and stress-related health outcomes, which include: psychological strain, anxiety and depression, somatic complaints, elevated blood pressure, and substance abuse.

Approaches to conflict

Self-awareness goes a long way in dealing with conflict. Knowing how you operate initiates the process of understanding the skills you need to handle stressful situations. Your personality, values, beliefs, instincts, and intellect all affect how you handle stress. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument identifies five conflict-handling modes.

According the Thomas-Kilmann, in a conflict situation a person’s behavior can be described in two basic dimensions:

1. Assertiveness: the extent to which the person attempts to satisfy his/her own concerns
2. Cooperativeness: the extent to which the person attempts to satisfy the other person’s conflict

These two dimensions further flesh out to define five methods of dealing with conflict:

1. Competing: assertive and uncooperative, this is a power-oriented method.
2. Collaborating: both assertive and cooperative, collaboration may take longer but provides a win-win outcome.
3. Compromising: intermediate in assertiveness and cooperativeness, compromise offers a middle ground that is often lose-lose.
4. Avoiding: unassertive and uncooperative, avoidance does not address conflict. This along with the following method often lead to passive agressive behaviors.
5. Accommodating: unassertive and cooperative, accommodation is the the direct opposite of competition and leads to habitual self-sacrifice.

Once you understand how you approach conflict you will begin to develop conflict-resolution strategies that are relevant to how you behave under stress.

Convert conflict into constructive energy. Working through conflict is better than putting up with it. One of the best processes we’ve found is the Kolbe Conflict Counter Actives™ that leads to mutual understanding, defined goals, and resolved conflict around a specific issue.

A conflict-resolution dialog. There are many layers of discovery required when people explore core issues and root causes of conflict. Here are some modified steps for dialog that demonstrate the types of considerations needed:

1. Listen, listen, listen. Listen actively for words and feelings. This means to listen with empathy and without evaluation. Be present. Be encouraging. Reflect back to the speaker what you heard before you respond.
2. Write down and define specific examples of the conflict. Discuss your examples. Are they based on similar situations? Do you agree on what isn’t working?
3. Reaffirm your mutual trust.
4. Identify the areas where you leverage each other’s talents.
5. Develop a list of shared goals. Discuss differences and commonalities.
6. Discuss the amount of time you spend together, what materials and resources are shared, and whether one person has more control than the other. Do you agree on how it should be and why?
7. What disagreement do you have about each other’s feelings, thoughts, and actions? Where do your perspectives differ the most and why? How are your perspectives the same?
8. Are your natural approaches to problem-solving different? If so, name the differences.
9. What are the consequences of your conflict? How do they affect the other person’s expectations?
10. What are more realistic expectations? How will you achieve your common goals?
11. What action steps are you each willing to commit to? How often will you meet? How will you define success?

We recommend using a facilitator help you to learn the comprehensiveness of the process, especially in complex situations.

Your employees are your greatest asset, and they will best thrive in environments that nurture and grow their skills without petty distractions. Part of your job is to foster that environment, which includes striking the right balance of intimacy and accountability.

Intimacy builds the trust that we consistently see in strong teams.

We all know the drama that can flare when friends work together as coworkers or in employee/supervisor relationships. We also know the tension that can poison the office when employees and their managers do not see eye to eye. Members of high-performing teams have established trust, a heightened awareness of other members’ strengths and weaknesses, and a commitment to watch each others’ backs. Yet those bonds can impede employee performance if one member is favored or supported over the others.

Accountability means that expectations are clear and effort is required.

You need your employees and managers to be responsible to the project, team, and organization to optimize employee performance. Consider the employee who does what her job requires and nothing more. She knows and meets all the expectations, yet because her concern is with only her individual contributions, her coworkers — even her manager — do not see her as a valuable team player. The reasons for her behavior aside, she is so focused on meeting exact expectations that she overlooks the opportunity to positively influence team results and dynamics. As a result she receives satisfactory (not exceptional) performance reviews, but continues to be baffled as to why her teammates “don’t like her.”

Likewise, when teammates are achieving high synergy, productivity and efficiency, they are top performers who get along along and enjoy being together. They see a vision and are feeling in sync with organizational and individual goals.  They jump in and help each other out, understand each other’s strengths and are willing to make each other’s jobs easier. When a vibrant organization is growing this surge of participation and energy can be long-term. There can be lulls between projects, however good leadership knows how to keep the positive energy flowing.

What is the right balance, and how do you achieve it?

Naturally, the solution lies between employees as friends and employees as automatons. We suggest the following to instill a culture of accountability among people who not only care about each other, but also care about the outcomes they can achieve together toward clear outcomes that go beyond the ego of any one person. The right balance requires individual understanding and acceptance and clear lines of authority and accountability.

What the Right Balance Looks Like

We call the right balance “synergy.” Synergy can be recognized by seeing projects being completed on time; team understanding of organizational goals and objectives; experiencing low to no stress among team members; witnessing an aura of fun and positive attitudes; high willingness for collaboration and problem solving; increased productivity and efficiency; fewer workplace accidents; higher profit; longer employee retention; and resistance to distractions and petty behaviors that break down trust among the team.

Steps for Achieving Balanced Synergy

Sound too good to be true? It is unrealistic to expect this state on an ongoing basis. Everyone needs time to recharge and to recommit to new inititiaves that are meaningful both individually and organizationally. However, when it matters most, winning organizations have a routine for preparing for and engaging in synergy – and leadership knows how to tap into it as needed.

1. First, synergy starts with clear expectations, guidelines and action plans for the next strategic destination. These goals are clearly developed and articulated by leadership. There is no nebulous talking about success. The target is clear, and the team understands the assignments and roles required to achieve their part of the quest.
2. Synergy is achieved by aligning employees to the right job tasks in terms of their natural problem solving talents, learned skills, social style, world view, and values. If you like action movies where the special forces team sweeps in to an assignment and conquers the enemy, then you will like the thrill of experiencing synergy by a top performing team. If you notice, the top talent is engaged for the perfect part of the mission. Each member does their part and leads action to the engagement of the next expert.

   To achieve this high performance, obviously experts are required. Chances are you have them in your organization, however you likely haven’t assessed their talents, skills, and abilities well enough to know how and when to engage them. Also, be cautious of making assumptions. Use assessment tools to understand the people in your organization.

3. Calibrate team performance to achieve specific results. Closely monitor results along the way and adapt team members and activities as required. Marketplace players and customer needs are constantly changing. This requires your team to continuously adapt to the external demands and problem-solving opportunities that exist for growth.  We believe that organizations struggle in tough times because they have no routine for adapting to changing needs. They become complacent, and they don’t think about guiding the way to an evolved future until they realize they have hit a wall. High performing teams are always engaged in innovation and critical thinking exercises because they are matched to jobs; they understand the goals; and they are riveted by the challenge to win at solving customer problems.
4. Expose team members to new resources such as new internal and external experts to collaborate with them and solve specific problems. Problem-solving requires a complex set of skills that needs to be kept active. The collaborative envionment that we are suggesting leads to intimacy between team members. When this intimacy is not kept active and focused on organizational outcomes, dysfunction occurs. Likewise, this intimacy can become stale to a particular mode of operation for a team to solve problems that in fact cannot work for solving every problem. As a leader you need a palette of resources that is vibrant and available to help you paint your vision for success. It is you who holds the brush and it is you who chooses the colors/resources with which you paint. Your authority in shifting skills and talents for the mission at hand is what your team relies on you to do to help them achieve collective success. Often leaders’ views of themselves, their possibilities, and their resources are far to narrow for the aspirations they hold. Thus, frustration and a feeling of standing in dead water can overtake the culture. By engaging resources that keep the team challenged, vibrant and alive, you keep people focused on intended outcomes and the big picture for success.

How Synergy is Measured

Aside from the indicators mentioned above, there is only one scientific way to measure synergy. The Kolbe LEAN Reports developed by the team of Kathy Kolbe are what we use to measure synergy. In any situation it is possible predict how a team will and won’t solve problems. In today’s times, it is especially crucial to know when to engage the innovators and promoters and when to engage the analysts and planners. One wrong move can waste months and years of effort and disuade top performers from being a part of the team. These times are crucial. There is no time to waste and there really is no excuse for not achieving your goals and initiatives if you have the right players working together in natural, informed, cohesive, and collaborative ways which you have orchestrated for the scenarios you see ahead. The closeness that is achieved is invigorating and often the best kind of “family” that can exist. Yet too, accountability, clear expectations, and measurements are not only appreciated by your team, they are the fuel that keeps energy flowing through the river of your organization.

The most effective and efficient way to affect change in your organization is organically through your employees and your solid leadership.

Set up structures to communicate expectations, encourage innovation, and build trust.

How do you ensure that everyone in your organization is not only reading the same book but on the same page? Clearly communicate your vision and expectations, and implement strategies that always align with your goals. When it comes to workforce management that includes several components:

• Define roles: When each employee has a clear understanding of his/her role in the organization it’s clear where responsibilities lie and where to seek information. Each employee knows what is expected of him/her and takes ownership or else projects lag behind. In turn, employees must collaborate to make the company vision a reality: the idea people must talk to the implementers, the implementers must talk to the marketers, the marketers must talk to customer service and so on. Everyone knows where to go or who has the authoritative word because there is a clear chain of command and there are established processes for communication.
• Put the right people in the right places: When people feel competent and valued they feel “in the zone.” If you hire someone who is talented at coding but who has weak people skills, don’t start her out in customer service thinking that she will improve her people skills. Instead enable her to further develop the talent she already possesses and that is mission-critical to your organization. This alignment increases the likelihood of the employee’s success and devotion to the company while showing that you truly value what she brings to the table. She’ll have a sense of pride and ownership rather than feeling incompetent, unappreciated, or unnoticed. By providing opportunities for employees to build their skills you communicate a willingness to invest in people.
• Build cohesive teams: Achieving the right chemistry and balance of skills instills trust and creates strong relationships. Because members of cohesive teams look out for each other and work as a unit, they often are better able to communicate, innovate, and quickly mobilize when it comes to new projects and initiatives.
• Set goals: Measurable, attainable goals provide direction and a clear destination, and they must be set at all levels: employee, team, department, division, and company. Reaching goals provides a sense of accomplishment and pride and builds the confidence needed to tackle the next challenge. Recent research states that 65% of employees don’t understand how their role fits into the strategic goals of the organization (SHRM, 2009). Don’t let your organization be one of the many.

Exhibit leadership qualities that foster mutual trust.

With your systems and support in place and your employees in mind, consider what you as a leader must do to maximize the productivity your workforce affords.

• Be visible and accessible: Employees need to see their leaders at work — whether they’re heading to a client meeting or checking in with the team about a specific project. Demonstrate an awareness and an interest in what your team is working on, and make yourself, supervisors, or team leaders available so that suggestions, questions, and concerns can be communicated as soon as possible.
• Request input: You may be the CEO, but you can always use a fresh perspective on what’s happening within your customer base and workforce — and you can do that by simply asking for insight. Ask your employees — or your customers, when appropriate — to help solve a particularly tricky problem or to offer feedback. Such requests are about increased understanding, not about pandering or flattery, so take input to heart. If you can transform a complainer into a contributor you have another new champion for your brand.
• Keep a finger on the pulse of your workforce: Simply put, be aware. Economically speaking, times are tough, and your employees may have a tremendous amount anxiety about the company or their job stability. Schedule regular reviews and interviews with employees and managers so that you can keep a bead on things and address any anxiety or negativity early. On the flip side, if you sense an air of enthusiasm and optimism acknowledge that too.
• Share success: The adage “no man is an island” is true precisely because no one succeeds alone. Acknowledge a job well done.
• Admit mistakes: When a plan didn’t go quite right, the team knows it. So acknowledge it, articulate what you learned, and explain how you’ll adjust your approach.

Forward movement is the natural outcome of strong leadership and empowered employees.

Having built trust and opened the lines of communication, you now have the structures and channels in place to identify areas for improvement and to initiate implementation. You’ve enabled employees to identify opportunities and provided a means for them to communicate their insights and ideas, and also instilled a confidence in your leadership that will inspire them to follow your cue.